My face is still sore, and it's not because my wife accidentally smacked me in the eye when trying to greet a friend with a hug at the TelWare holiday party. No, I don't do cage fighting on the side, and it's not because I chewed too much bubble gum. So, why does my face hurt, you may ask? . . . or, maybe you don't care . . . well, whether you do or don't, I'm going to tell you anyway.
Apparently, laughing for two hours straight can cause cheek muscles to cramp. (I guess I need to add smile exercises to my three to four weekly workouts . . . smile, frown, smile, ONE, smile, frown ,smile, TWO . . . ) I was reminded of my mother's warning when I was a child, "If you don't uncross those eyes they're going to stay like that." I'm glad I didn't end up with a permanent Joker smile, like a facelift gone horribly wrong.
Now, laughing is one of the things TelWare employees do best, especially when all the techs get together in the mornings to receive their assignments. Everyone is a joker and everyone is a target. You would think my cheek muscles would be well developed.
However, TelWare took the laughs to another level when it let the Comedy Zone at NC Music Factory host its annual holiday party this year. Comedians Andy Forrester and Dale Jones kept us in stiches for a couple of hours after we gourged ourselves on a tasty buffet style dinner and dilectable desserts.
Surprisingly, one of our clients, the law firm of Brady and Kosofsky, shared our reservation for the event. Andy Forrester made quick work of a letter sent in by one of the partners. The letter provided tidbits about the company's employees as fodder for the comedians to humorously regurgitate. Instead, Andy directed most of his comedic monologue towards the author. Backfire!
Then Andy turned his attention to TelWare. "Who came up with that name anyway? TelWare. Did you guys even think about it before you named your company. Like a customer is searching for you in the yellow pages, 'I can't TelWare they are!'"
A fan favorite was Andy's missing tortoise joke. "How do you lose a tortoise?! Even after two weeks, he's only . . . right over there!" Then he performed a spot on slow-mo impression of a tortoise "bounding" out of the forest, then hiding in his shell.
Next up was Dale Jones. This man is crazy . . . or at least his act makes him look that way. With is face contortions, weird noises and antics, he has been banned by more establishments than the DEA has banned substances. And, he is seriously bad at meeting new people.
"Hi, how are you?"
"I HAVE A PRESCRIPTION!" . . . "I like sitting on the toilet until my legs get numb."
And, as if the comedians weren't funny enough, TelWare employees provided plenty of hilarious conversation of their own both before and after the professional acts. My colleagues will have to excuse me if I keep straight face for the next week or so.
*Disclaimer: All events in this account are true . . . except the ones I made up.
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